This week the world has witnessed Harry and Meghan, The Duke and Duchess of Sussex, express their pain and heartache experienced over the past few years. The Royal Family have responded, clearly saddened by what the royal couple has gone through and wish to resolve their differences, not publicly but privately as any family would prefer!
Oh, how quick are we all to judge and form an opinion. Should they have come out or stayed silent?
Don’t get me wrong, I know it has implications for the Monarchy but isn’t it about time we realised that our Royal Family are, in fact, human beings. Yes, they are born or marry into a life of privilege in terms of wealth, status, role and lifestyle, but this doesn’t make them superhuman. They are as much part of nature and life as you and I and equally subject to the ups and downs of a relationship, no matter how public and complex!
For me, this exposure highlights the enormous pressure our Royal Family endure, living up to our expectations, which does not allow them to falter or fail in any way. Royal does not in my mind mean ‘perfection’, nor does it infer they must be without emotions or feelings. If this is what we are expecting, then we currently support a Monarchy to act rather than live and for our guilty pleasures and satisfaction.
Whose mind would you rather not be in, and whose would you like to live?
It’s good to reflect on this question, as it allows you to examine the quality of the mind you keep, how often you feel anxious and stressed, or full of joy and contentment. It helps you to notice how often you live in judgement of yourself or others. When do you show a random act of kindness, or most get annoyed and with whom. What you are waiting for, the beliefs you hold and rules you live by, what you feel entitled to, and so on!
Our consciousness’s content has a lot to answer for; it can get us into trouble or make someone’s day. Enquiring behind the scenes of our perception is a great way to observe what we are highly involved in, i.e. our state of mind in the moment and its corresponding response or behaviour, and nothing else! Suppose we can get even a glimpse of the human mind’s power to create an experience in us, together with an understanding of its transitory nature. In that case, we could shortcut the differences and reunite our hearts, minds and souls.
It seems that innate wisdom must and will prevail and let a family, albeit Royal, calm down and regain their balance and clarity. As human beings, wired with the capacity for a new perception, a change of heart at any moment, we can and do get over ourselves, exposing deeper feelings of humility, compassion, and understanding.
A rift is nothing more than people believing their thinking is anything other than a temporary, arbitrary, and changeful experience of Consciousness. On the other hand, making up, being heartfelt, and understanding is connective and supportive of each other’s state of mind in any given moment.
Let’s hope that which bonds us all as humankind prevails, and allows for a meeting of the minds, hearts and souls, not just for our Royal Family, but in all relationships gripped in mental and emotional torment of innocent personal thinking.
If you would like to learn about my work to help people suffer less and live with psychological, emotional and spiritual freedom, please get in touch.
What People Say About Working With Denise
Denise has been instrumental in my evolving understanding of the Three Principles and how they specifically apply in high-performance sport. Her insightful and intuitive way of working has challenged and deepened my fundamental understanding of all human performance. I’ll always be appreciative of her significant role in my development as a performance director and coach.
Founder & CEO Optimal Performance - Former Director of Cricket - West Indies Cricket Board
Denise has a tremendous understanding of how to achieve elite performance in sport. Her contagious enthusiasm is motivating and inspires you to the next level
Scotland National Netball Athlete (107 caps)
I am so grateful to have worked with Denise, I used to float in and out of different moods and believed it was other things and situations causing them. Honestly, this understanding has changed my life.
Third Year Student - The University of Kent, Sport and Exercise Science.
Floyd Woodrow MBE
Denise is impressive in her abilities by any standard. Her ability to teach and develop those around her, mark her out as someone with exceptional leadership and coaching skills. I constantly seek advice and counsel from her and trust her implicitly.
Floyd Woodrow MBE
Chairman and CEO of Chrysalis Worldwide
I was fortunate enough to have a conversation with Denise over a cup of coffee when we met in America. It would be easy to accuse me of exaggeration or sensationalising by making the following statement, but I can only offer you the truth as I see it. The truth is that those few minutes changed my life. I had spent the last 15 years pursuing peak performance, competing internationally in the High jump and achieving a lifetime best of 2.26m. Through my love of this sport, I became a seeker, wanting to uncover the truth of the mind and how to reach that flow state. I’m not saying that I’m now enlightened, but I know that a beautiful, peaceful, loving state is only one thought away, for that, you have my complete and utter gratitude.”
England International High Jumper who came back from breaking his neck!
Denise Holland is one of my best “students.” She is one of the few students I have asked to teach with me, and I was and remain very impressed with her presence, her knowledge, her wisdom, her feeling and her responsiveness. I would say anyone who works with Denise is in excellent hands.
I reached out to Denise when my world seemed to be falling apart. I had recently received a diagnosis of two different types of cancer; my son was diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer and had little time to live. I did not know how to process all of this, and my mental state spiralled! Within ten minutes of quiet time with Denise, I felt everything lifting from my shoulders and a feeling of calm settling in its place. Working with Denise has given me a deeper understanding and knowledge of the mind, it keeps me on a healthy path not only in general day-to-day life but as a life skill in my work environment and sport. Forever grateful to you, Denise.
Meeting Denise was perfect timing, written in the stars, foretold, whatever. My world was falling apart, my marriage had ended, my child was in serious trouble, and I was upping sticks and moving up North to run the biggest, most complex project of my career.
Four months later, my project is an astonishing success, my marriage is back on track, and best of all, my baby is coming back to me. I am different at work, at home, inside my head, and others can see it. The dark days aren’t dark any more because they don’t last, and the light days are far more frequent. Denise’s workj isn’t just amazing in the world of sport but any area of life.
I enjoyed this course very much as it improved my shooting technique and accuracy dramatically. I learned that you do not have to be controlled by your negative thoughts because they are not you.
I appreciate the support Denise gave me when I was transitioning into my new role at Leinster and helping me understand how to ‘free my mind!
Senior Coach Leinster Rugby – Former England Rugby Coach
I used to struggle to remain calm and confident in stressful situations, what others think of me, what would happen if I did something wrong? We are all capable of achieving, no part of our abilities is lacking! This programme has truly changed me for the best and is perfect during my final year of University.
Third Year Student - The University of Kent - Sports Therapy
After a close family member benefitted hugely from her transformative coaching programme, I worked with Denise.
What I discovered about my perspective transformed how I now live my life, clear-minded and present to the moment, knowing what’s truly important to me, which is so relaxing and enriching. I used to live from a place of “it’ll be better when”, so I was never present. “When I’ve sold the business, I…!” “When I’ve retired..!” When I’ve bought this house or car etc..!” This program has given me my life back!
Charles Mayhew – Dad, Husband, Entrepreneur, and Sports Coach.
Denise’s new approach is great for teamwork, we don’t get upset with each other anywhere near as much, and get over disappointments quickly.
Third Year Student - The University of Kent, Sports and Excercise for Health
Before I took part in Denise’s Health and Well Being programme, I stressed in many situations; it would prevent me from taking part in different things. I now look at the situations holistically and not let thoughts prevent me from putting myself forward.
2nd-year student – The University of Greenwich – Forensic science with Criminology Student
I enjoyed speaking with Denise about the mind and performance. The conversations were very insightful and always had me challenging and questioning the status quo regarding mental performance. The critical pointer Denise gave was that our natural state is freedom of mind, clarity and potential. We don’t need to overexert the mind to find these states. Searching for them often leads us further into tension. I found this very relatable to direct experiences in life and sport.
Scotland International Rugby Player - London Scottish FC
Denise has the skills and experience to wake people up to deeper knowledge about themselves. In the sporting arena, this knowledge happens to be crucially important.